


From Ghost Flowers and Gladioli to Red Roses

by inoreuct



Series: Haikyuu!! High School FanFictions [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ass to Mouth, Blood, Body Worship, Bottom Tendou Satori, Dirty Talk, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Smut, So much angst, Tendou Satori is Babie, Top Ushijima Wakatoshi, Ushijima Wakatoshi is an Idiot, ushiten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:35:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26854576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inoreuct/pseuds/inoreuct
Summary: Here, have a Ushiten Hanahaki fic, because why not :) Two idiots pining for each other, one stubbornly oblivious to his own feelings and one already completely whipped. What could possibly go wrong, am I right?
Relationships: Mentioned Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Haikyuu!! High School FanFictions [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843792
Comments: 10
Kudos: 190





	1. Ghost Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> For those who didn’t see my latest Kagehina fic, this is a repost too :)

To his bullies and rivals, he was a weirdo and a freak. To his fans, he was a legendary blocker, revered and hailed as Guess Monster. To the Shiratorizawa team, he was a valuable player and a good, supportive friend. But to Ushijima Wakatoshi...... Tendou Satori was so much more.

*

“Bye, Wakkun! See you tomorrow!” Tendou chirped, his signature grin adorning his face. They were at the crossroads of the dorm corridor where they usually parted ways everyday. Ushijima’s dorm was further down, while Tendou’s was pretty much right next to the stairwell. Ushijima gave his usual noncommittal grunt of farewell as his best friend slipped into his room. He kept walking towards his own room, an annoying itch that had been there all day niggling at the back of his throat. Although Tendou was now out of his sight, he couldn’t shake the image of the blocker’s grin from his mind. _Has he always smiled like that?_

A small cough burst from his lips, his body instinctively trying to get rid of that annoying itchiness that he just couldn’t banish no matter what he did. He’d been trying all day, chugging water, eating lozenges, but nothing had seemed to help. Another cough slipped out, this one stronger than the last and it was only seconds before a third one wrenched itself from his chest. They came one after another, and before long, Ushijima was hacking like an old man, wheezing heavily as he tried to breathe through the coughs. _What the hell? I never get sick, ever. What—_ He gagged viciously as he felt something lodge at the back of his throat, something... soft, and feathery.

_The fuck?!_ Ushijima stumbled to his room, coughs wracking his broad frame. He raised one arm and wheezed into his elbow, all while trying desperately to fit his room key into the door lock and turn it with shaking fingers. _Come on, come on-_ He gagged again as he felt the feathery _something_ travelling up his windpipe. Finally, finally, he managed to shove the key into the lock and twisted it clockwise, chest aching with the effort of trying (and failing) to stop coughing, shoving his door open so hard it rebounded against the wall and nearly body-slammed him. He shouldered his way inside, skidding across the wooden floor and pushing at the sliding door to the bathroom, his hands scrabbling at the delicate rice paper panel while still coughing his lungs out (honestly, it was a miracle he didn’t tear it). He lurched into the bathroom and dropped heavily to his knees in front of the toilet bowl, bracing his hands on the rim.

Ushijima distinctly heard the door bang shut behind him, but he was too busy gagging into the toilet bowl to care. He stopped trying to hold back his coughs, letting them run their course, his ribs aching from the strain. _What the fuck is in my throat?!_ A particularly violent hack later, he felt something, no, many somethings fly out of his mouth, and suddenly, he could breathe again.

He sat down on the floor with his legs folded beside him, his eyes screwed shut, panting as he tried to catch his breath. _What the heck did I just cough up?_ He didn’t know what he was expecting to see when he opened his eyes. Phlegm, maybe. Or perhaps he had somehow ingested a piece of the cling wrap that he had wrapped his sandwich with that afternoon. What he was not expecting to see, however, was... _Flower petals?_ The toilet bowl was full of delicate, white, rounded triangular petals, all floating gently on the water. _Wha— No. No, it can’t... it can’t be._

This could only mean one thing: Hanahaki Disease. It was infamous, having taken the lives of many a young unrequited lover. Ushijima didn’t know much about it, or the little details, but he knew enough. He knew that there was no known cure except surgery, but that would make the person in question lose all feeling for the object of their infatuation. He knew that the surgery was crazily expensive. He also knew that if you had Hanahaki and didn’t get the surgery, the average amount of time you had left would be three months, at maximum.

The problem was, you could only contract Hanahaki Disease if you had unrequited love. You would have to be in love with someone who didn’t love you back, or didn’t know that you loved them. Even then, the chances of contracting the disease were only 7%. The favourite flower of the one you loved would grow in your lungs, the plants getting thicker and wilder every day until they eventually suffocated you to death from the inside out. The only other way to survive and remove the flowers if you didn’t want surgery was for the person you loved to acknowledge your feelings, and love you back.

_So why the heck do I have Hanahaki if I don’t even love anyone? How’s that even possible?! Unless— those petals do look awfully familiar..._ Ushijima fished one out of the toilet bowl, rubbing its silky softness between his fingers. He stood up shakily and walked out of the bathroom to his study desk, bending down to tug his phone out of his gym bag that he had haphazardly dumped in the floor in his haste to get to the bathroom. Snapping a quick picture of the petal, he did a visual Google Search, still not sure what to expect.

_Ghost flowers. Of course._

_Ghost flowers symbolise resilience, loneliness, solitude, and disgust. They share the same basic form as a snowdrop, with a long stalk and a singular flower that droops downwards..._

Ushijima sucked in a shallow breath, leaning back in his chair and rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes. _I was right. I knew I recognised them._ He was reading information off the same web page that Tendou had once showed him, when they had shared what their favourite flowers were with each other.

_I’m in love with Tendou Satori...? My best friend. And he either doesn’t know, or doesn’t love me back. Okay. So... What now?_


	2. Carnations and Black Roses

“Good morning, Wakkun!” Ushijima tried to ignore the pang in his chest as he watched Tendou’s expression fall slightly when he ignored him. Brushing past the blocker, he walked down the stairwell, sneakers tapping surprisingly lightly against the concrete. He ran the conversation he had with his parents over Facetime last night through his head again.

*

_The annoying, incessant ringtone finally ceased. Ushijima cut straight to the point. “Mom, Dad, I have Hanahaki Disease.”_

_The emotions played out on his parents’ faces one by one, first confusion, then shock, then disbelief, and finally sadness when they realised that Ushijima wasn’t kidding. His father cleared his throat. “Who... Who is it?”_

_“Tendou.”_

_His mother had started crying, a hand pressed over her mouth to stifle her sobs. “Y-You’re telling me that you might only have two weeks left to live?”_

_“If I don’t get the surgery, yes.”_

_“So what do you want to do about it, son? You could get the surgery, or...” his father trailed off._

_“...Mom?”_

_“I-I personally want you to get the surgery done. But I’ll support you no matter what.”_

_“Okay. I’ll... I’ll think about it. Goodnight Mom, Dad. I’m tired, gonna go to bed.”_

_“Goodnight, Wakatoshi. And never forget that your mother and I love you.”_

_“I know. Love you too.”_

_“Don’t forget to do some research on Hanahaki and the surgery, okay?”_

_“I will, Mom.”_

*

Ushijima didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he didn’t want to die, not when he had his whole life ahead of him. But on the other, the surgery was extremely expensive, and... He didn’t want to lose all his feelings for Tendou. Just the romantic ones. Tendou Satori was his best friend, and he wasn’t willing to give that up just yet. _Relax, Wakatoshi. You still have time to decide._

On the plus side, he had basically just came out as gay (or at least bisexual) to his parents last night, and they hadn’t seemed to care. _I suppose the fact that your son might only have two weeks to live is more important than his sexuality._ He decided not to tell anyone else that he had contracted Hanahaki. It would only result in pity and Coach Washijo pullling him out of the team, which would basically mean that he would never be able to play volleyball again.

“—akkun? Did I do something wrong?” Tendou’s vaguely nervous voice pulled Ushijima back to the present. The red-haired blocker was right behind him, his head cocked to the side.

_No._

_It’s not your fault._

_It’s mine._

_I’m sorry._

Ushijima wanted to say all that and more, but he forced himself to snap his jaw shut and keep walking without even turning back. All the way to the school building, Tendou trailed behind him, obviously unsettled at the way his best friend was acting. Ushijima was usually quiet, but now... Now he was just ignoring Tendou completely.

That night, as Ushijima gagged into the toilet bowl again, he realised that the petals he was coughing up had changed. The petals from last night were white and triangular, but now, there were some that were soft and delicate like layers of tissue and dyed in shades of bubblegum pink and scarlet, and some that were circles of black velvet, so dark they almost didn’t seem real. After searching them up online, he realised that they were they were carnation and black rose petals.

_Carnations are common ‘I miss you’ flowers. Pink and red carnations can both be used. Pink carnations are often used to signify the concept that someone is unforgettable, while red carnations symbolize both admiration and missing another._

_Black roses represent tragic romance. A black rose doesn't stand for happiness, but the sadness, a relationship would bring along._

_Is Google even reliable? Why am I puking up these particular flowers? What does this mean?_ Ushijima sighed heavily, typing ‘Hanahaki Disease’ into his search bar.

_Hanahaki Disease is a disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated. There is no set time for how long this disease lasts but it may last from 2 weeks to 3 months until the victim dies unless the feelings are returned or the plants are surgically removed. There is also no set flower that blossoms in the lungs but it may be the enamoured’s favourite flower or favourite colour. Hanahaki can be cured through surgical removal of the plants' roots, but this excision also has the effect of removing the patient's capacity for romantic love. It may also erase the patient’s feelings for and memories of the enamoured. It can also be cured by the reciprocation of the victim's feelings. These feelings cannot be feelings of friendship but must be feelings of genuine love. The victim may also develop Hanahaki Disease if they believe the love to be one-sided but once the enamoured returns the feelings, they will be cured._

“Okay, so basically I’m going to get choked to death by plants if I don’t get them cut out of my chest. How nice,” Ushijima muttered darkly to himself. _I just had to catch feelings for my best friend, didn’t I? But I don’t even love him! At least I don’t think I do, but these stupid plants clearly prove otherwise._ He spent the rest of the night researching anything and everything that had to do with Hanahaki Disease, from causes to effects to cures. He even searched if it was possible to contract Hanahaki without loving anybody, but apparently it was impossible. _How can I possibly love someone without feeling like it? I don’t love him! We’re friends, for fuck’s sake. Just friends._

For the next few days, Ushijima avoided Tendou like the black plague, trying to quash his so-called ‘feelings’. _How do I stop loving him if I don’t feel like I love him in the first place?!_ He skirted around the blocker during practice, ran off without him during lunch and after school, and when Tendou tried to speak to him directly, he ignored his best friend outright.

Little did Ushijima know, distancing himself from the one he loved had a price to pay. No matter how hard he tried to get rid of his feelings, they were indeed still there, even if he refused to acknowledge them. The flowers increased in quantity, and they weren’t just the only thing coming up Ushijima’s throat anymore. Now, they were always coated in thick, sticky phlegm and mucus that his lungs produced every day. His coughs, which used to be dry and itchy, now always sounded wet. He could barely focus on volleyball because he was struggling to breathe everyday, and it was all he could do to not get benched. _I just had to catch ‘feelings’._


	3. Yellow Roses

Ushijima was sick of avoiding Tendou. It wasn’t helping his situation at all. In fact, the physical and metaphorical distance from his best friend was making it worse. It had been three weeks since he contracted Hanahaki, and he’d been coughing up maelstroms of black, red and pink petals every night. Honestly, he was surprised that he wasn’t dead yet. He refused to see a doctor, and his teammates and coach were under the impression that he was mildly sick with nothing more than a particularly stubborn cough. Luckily, his lungs only seemed to regurgitate flowers at night, so it was marginally easy to hide what was going on.

He was also sick of seeing the way Tendou’s face crumpled every time Ushijima ignored him, although he would never admit that it broke him out loud. He walked up to the blocker after practice, his best friend’s head bent low as he packed his gym bag. “Tendou,” his low voice rumbled, startling the red-haired boy. “Wakkun! Umm— I... I know I asked before, but did I do something wrong that made you avoid me for the past weeks, Wakatoshi?”

 _I’m so sorry._ “No.” _It’s my fault._ “You didn’t.” _Every time I pushed you away, my heart broke a little more._ “Walk with me.”

“...Of course, Wakkun.”

Ushijima and Tendou strolled back to the dorms, neither of them in a rush to go anywhere, just enjoying each other’s company. Sneaking a peek at Tendou, Ushijima realised that his best friend’s usually expressive face was blank, and it was impossible to get a read on him. This was pretty concerning, because Tendou Satori was the kind of person who wore their heart on their sleeve, and you could tell what they were thinking or feeling with a single glance. Ushijima tried to focus on that fact, instead of how good Tendou looked with his hair down, the slightly-too-long strands hanging into his eyes and catching the light of the setting sun. He had never seen it like this. The blocker had obviously left it down because he overslept and didn’t have time to style it, also supported by the fact that he was twenty-five minutes late for class in the morning.

_Focus, Wakatoshi. Is he okay? He never looks this serious... I’m so sorry, Tendou. I never meant to hurt you... Why do I feel so guilty? I don’t love him. I don’t!_ Ushijima narrowed his eyes and pulled his attention away from Tendou, raising a hand in a quick wave goodbye as Tendou unlocked his room door. But before he walked away, his mouth opened on its own accord. “You should leave your hair down more often. You look good.” _Fuck. Fuck. Why did I just say that? It’s okay. It’s okay. Friends compliment each other, right?_ Tendou looked slightly taken aback, before his lips relaxed back into his signature grin.

“Sure, Wakkun.”

Ushijima hesitated, giving an awkward nod in Tendou’s general direction while his eyes burned holes into the floor. With an unsettling sense of déjà vu, he walked down the corridor, his footsteps speeding up as he felt the now-familiar, but no less uncomfortable, sensation of flowers in his throat. He pushed open his door and ran to the bathroom, shoving his head into the toilet bowl just like he had every night for the past week.

The flowers had changed again, and they were no longer scattered, disorganised petals, but instead half connected at their bases. Yellow roses, he found out they were when he searched them up.

_A yellow rose represents friendship, joy and caring. These beautiful sun-coloured roses can also convey warmth, delight, gladness and affection, as well as say good luck, welcome back, and remember me._

As his eyes drifted away from the glowing LED screen of his phone, Ushijima’s thoughts drifted to Tendou. The way his hair was always that shade of vibrant, almost unnatural red, how his signature grin was somehow always sly and silly at the same time and always made his day no matter how crappy he was feeling. A warmth started spreading through his chest cavity, and he spent a good twenty minutes dazedly daydreaming about his best friend before he caught himself.

For the first time in a long time, Ushijima was scared. And it wasn’t because of the fact that he was choking on flowers growing in his own lungs, or even because he would die soon and he didn’t even know when. Ushijima Wakatoshi was scared because it was finally starting to feel like he was in love with his best friend. According to the Hanahaki Disease, he knew he was apparently in love with Tendou, but this was the first time he acknowledged something other than friendship for the blocker. _Maybe I do love him... Just a little bit..._


	4. Blue Irises

Maybe it was the way he smiled. Or the way that his smile was just a little wider, just a little _happier_ when he smiled at Ushijima specifically. Maybe it was the way that he told him things which he would never tell anyone else, his thoughts and feelings, his doubts, even his fears. Or perhaps it was the way that he didn’t mind Ushijima’s stoic silence, because he could read him like a book anyway. Tendou Satori knew things about Ushijima Wakatoshi that no one else did, and maybe that was how Ushijima realised that he loved him. As time passed, he realised that he wanted to share his inner self with Tendou, he wanted Tendou to read him and understand him without any words on his part. Moreover, he wanted Tendou to confide in him, too.

_If I’m going to die soon, I want to spend the rest of my time with him. Even if he doesn’t love me that way._ Ushijima tried his best to heal their broken relationship, sticking to Tendou like glue. He was internally incredibly anxious that Tendou would pull away from him, but being the absolute angel he was, of course Tendou took back to their friendship like a fish to water.

Being close to Tendou again had its drawbacks, though. It was pretty much impossible to deny his affections now. One and a half months after he started living with Hanahaki Disease, the petals were coming up in big chunks, almost whole flowers, and they weren’t coated in just phlegm anymore. Ushijima’s dorm constantly smelled like iron from all the blood he coughed out of his lungs every night. The stronger his feelings got, the more his health deteriorated. But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw Tendou smile or laugh, a fuzzy feeling would spread through his chest cavity, warming him from the inside out. Ushijima wasn’t one to show his emotions on his face, but if you looked closely enough, anyone would be able to see the growing adoration in his eyes. _At this rate, I’m going to die soon. But it’s worth it._

Before long, the flowers had changed again. Now, the cobalt blooms of flowers that were apparently blue irises grew from his lungs in abundance, always speckled with crimson droplets of blood. As was routine by now, Ushijima searched up the flower online.

_Blue irises symbolize faith and hope..._

_What does this mean, anyway? I’ve never read anything about the flowers changing, and I’m pretty sure I’ve read every single bit of information there is about Hanahaki. Oh well... No point worrying about it when I’m going to die soon anyway. I should just enjoy my time with Tendou. I can’t confess... He doesn’t love me that way._


	5. Red Roses I

Ushijima gagged as something stiff pressed against the back of his throat. He was used to singular petals, or even half-formed flowers, but this... This was something else entirely. After a solid five minutes of hacking, the _thing_ had still refused to come out. _Great. Now I have to pull it out before I choke and die. Whatever it is._ Ushijima hesitantly put two fingers into his mouth, reaching for the back of his throat. _Come on, goddamit, where is it?!_ He finally grasped a firm, slim, cylindrical something by his fingertips. He adjusted his grip and pulled, retching as he felt the familiar sensation of petals dragging along his windpipe.

Ushijima nearly choked again in surprise as he looked down and saw a bloodstained stalk between his fingers. He was now used to coughing up chunks of petals, even occasionally whole flowers, but stalks? He kept pulling, yanking the stem out of throat until the flower at its end had crossed his lips. He didn’t need to search this one up on Google to know what it was, but he did anyway.

_Red roses symbolize love and romance and..._

_Alright, now the universe is just fucking with me, isn’t it? Just had to rub salt in the wound._ Ushijima looked at the scarlet rose in his hand. Its petals were coated in blood, and the crimson liquid was dripping all over the floor. _Only one more month at the max. I could die anytime now. It’s gonna be soon, won’t it? If there’s so much blood... And there’s no way I’m getting the surgery done._ Ushijima sighed and walked over to the sink, scooping water from the running tap with his clean hand and gargling, trying to rinse the metallic, coppery taste of blood from his tongue.

He stared at the flower contemplatively. _Hmm. It’s pretty. Really pretty. You know what? Even platonic friends give each other flowers sometimes, don’t they? Well, maybe not red roses, but I could just say that I found it in a random bush somewhere and thought it was pretty._ He snorted. _Not that there’s anything platonic about what I feel for him anymore. God, why didn’t I realise sooner? We could have had so much more time together... I was taking him for granted. Why didn’t I treat him better? Even if we were just friends._ A resolute look on his face, Ushijima dunked the rose under the stream of the tap, rinsing off all the blood until the water ran clear. He shook off the excess droplets and strode out of the bathroom in his sweatpants and a t-shirt. He had showered and changed out of his jersey after practice earlier, and he had just one thing on his mind: find Tendou and give him the rose.

_Where is that idiot?_ Ushijima had been looking around for half an hour, and he still hadn’t found Tendou. Where the heck would he be going at five in the evening on a Wednesday night? He’d looked in the gymnasium, the dorms, the school cafeteria, even the library. _...Fuck it. It’s getting dark, I’ll just catch him in his dorm later and give the rose to him then. Hopefully it holds up..._ He sighed, turning back to the dorms and letting the flower droop between his fingers. As he strolled down the well-worn dirt path, his shoes kicking up sand and dust, he heard someone... gagging? _They sound like I do when I’m coughing up flowers. Huh._ He stopped in his tracks, looking around for the source of the familiar sound. _The bathroom_ , he realised. _It’s coming from the gymnasium bathroom._

Ushijima walked silently into the ceramic-tiled space, wincing as he heard the gagging noises get louder. He knew first-hand how uncomfortable that person had to be feeling. All of the stalls were empty, except... the last one. The door was unlocked, and Ushijima shouldered it open gently, only to recoil in shock. A familiar head of shocking red hair hovered over the toilet bowl as its owner retched into it on his knees. “T-Tendou?” As Ushijima scrambled back, his shoulder banged into the stall door and the rose he was holding slipped from his fingers onto the grimy floor, but he wasn’t exactly paying much attention. He was way more focused on the almost identical red rose in Tendou’s bloody hand.

  
  



	6. Gladioli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaand we switch to Tendou’s POV!

Gladiolus flowers. They meant honour and strength, apparently, obviously one of the reasons why they were Ushijima Wakatoshi’s favourite flower. They were the flowers that first bloomed in Tendou Satori’s lungs as he realised he was in love with his best friend.

It had been three weeks since Tendou found out that he had Hanahaki Disease. Three weeks since he realised that what he felt for Ushijima wasn’t completely platonic. Every night since, he had been choking up gladiolus flowers, the big purple and white petals blooming seemingly endlessly in his lungs. Only the petals had come up, at first, before his lungs started producing phlegm too, the flowers always coated with the sticky fluid. And now, after three weeks...

_Even more bloody petals. Just phlegm wasn’t enough, huh? First I fall in love with my best friend, who doesn’t love me back, then I start puking up flowers, then the petals get coated in phlegm and now I’m coughing up chunks of them. And eventually all of this is gonna end with my painful, pathetic death by suffocation from the inside out, and I don’t even know when exactly it’ll happen. What the heck did I do in my past life?!_ Tendou sighed heavily, getting up on wobbly legs and flushing the numerous blooms down the toilet.

He was mentally and physically sick and tired of the stupid disease, but he had already made it totally clear to his parents that he wasn’t going to go for the surgery. He would rather die a slow, painful death than lose all of his feelings for Ushijima. At the end of the day, they were still best friends if nothing else. His parents weren’t happy, but they respected his decision, at least. Tendou stumbled out of the bathroom and flopped down onto his bed, having showered and changed after school earlier. _No use complaining about it, is there? Might as well go to bed._ He yawned, stretching out on the mattress and pulling the covers over his head. _Goodnight, cruel world._


	7. Red Gerberas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tendou gives off confused babie energy—

“Bye, Wakkun! See you tomorrow!” Tendou chirped, his signature grin pasted across his face, trying his best not to let it drop from sheer exhaustion. He slipped into his room after hearing Ushijima give his usual grunt of farewell and keep walking down the corridor. Closing the door and chucking his schoolbag on the ground, Tendou leant back against wall and sighed through his nose. _God, today’s training was exhausting._ He had to fight to keep his breathing even with all the strenuous movement, and his lungs felt like they were about to burst.

_Alright. I still have a couple of hours before my lungs decide to give me yet another opportunity to open a flower shop._ He sat down at his desk to get some studying done, and before he knew it, that annoyingly familiar scratchy feeling was building up at the back of his throat. He stood up quickly and power-walked to the bathroom, getting on his knees just as the coughing started. Retching into the toilet bowl, the flowers slowly crawled up his windpipe just like they did every night, but it felt... different.

_They’re still flowers. I’m still dying, aren’t I? No difference there._ He finally coughed out the feathery petals and ran the back of his hand over his mouth. _Not like anything would cha—_ Tendou squinted into the toilet bowl. _Huh_. Where there would normally be big, fluttery white and purple petals, the water was littered with tiny, delicate oblong petals, coloured an almost orangey shade of scarlet. Tendou carefully picked one out and stood up, walking back to his desk. He grabbed his phone and snapped a quick picture of the petal, doing a visual search on Google.

_...Gerbera daisies?_

_Gerberas are available in rich reds, oranges, yellows, peaches, creams and white and there are a few distinct meanings including: The color meaning for orange is: sunshine of life. Red means: unconscious in love or fully immersed in love. White: a symbol of purity or innocence, childlike..._

Tendou cocked his head to one side in confusion. _They changed. ...Why did they change?_

*

The next morning, Tendou took a deep breath, pasted a smile on his face, and stepped out the door. He waited beside the stairwell for Ushijima, just like how he did every morning. They had an unspoken rule about waiting for each other at the stairwell before they went to school. Tendou looked up from his phone as Ushijima walked towards him. “Good morning, Wakkun!”

...Silence. Not even the usual grunt of acknowledgement. Tendou’s smile slipped slightly as Ushijima ignored and brushed past him, before he painfully hitched it back up. Ushijima looked deep in thought, like he was pondering about something, his thick brows furrowed together, lips pressed into a line. _God, he looks hot. No use denying it anymore. I am so fucking whipped... But what did I do wrong?_

“Wakkun?” Tendou couldn’t help the slight nervousness that bled into his voice. _I’m gonna die soon. I can’t afford to waste any time instead of spending with him, even just as friends._ He sped up his footsteps until he was walking right beside Ushijima. “Wakkun? Did I do something wrong?” Tendou cocked his head to the side, his eyes wide and inquisitive. Ushijima looked like he was finally about to say something, but then his jaw tensed up and he started walking faster, leaving Tendou behind, so much so that the blocker had to jog to keep up with his best friend’s long strides. Tendou trailed after him all the way to the school building. _Why’s he ignoring me?_ He was sad and confused, but Ushijima obviously wasn’t in the mood to talk, so he let it pass and didn’t push anything.

That night, as he lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, Tendou couldn’t stop that one traitorous tear from flowing down the side of his face. He had fallen in love with his best friend, who didn’t even love him back, and now he wasn’t even sure if they were friends anymore. His heart ached as he wallowed in his self-pity. _Enough, Satori. You knew what you were getting into as soon as you decided to accept that you loved him. You knew you were setting yourself up to get heartbroken. But it’s worth it, isn’t it? He’s worth it._

Sighing sadly, Tendou rolled over into his side and pulled the covers over his head, letting sleep drag him away from reality.


	8. Purple Hyacinths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tendou oversleeps😂

Tendou’s gaze flicked between the violet white-lined petal sitting on his palm and the web page he had pulled up.

_A purple hyacinth is an emblem of forgiveness and means “I am sorry”, “Please forgive me” and sorrow. To tell someone that you are sorrowful over an event and wish for them to forgive you, give them a bouquet of purple hyacinth flowers to represent these emotions._

Tendou groaned loudly, leaning back in his chair and dramatically throwing his head back. _Lungs? You in there? Can you hear me? Could you just fucking decide on one flower and stick with it?!_ Six weeks after Tendou got Hanahaki, and the flowers had changed again. _I should have kept the petals. Could have started one hell of a scrapbooking company if I dried and pressed all of them._ Not only were the flowers coming up in huge chunks and even the occasional fully-formed bloom, they were now also stained with slicks of crimson blood.

For the past few days, Ushijima had been skirting around Tendou. He didn’t wait for him at the stairwell in the mornings, and he always miraculously disappeared before Tendou could find him during lunch and after practice. When the blocker tried to talk to him about it during practice, Ushijima just turned around and ran to the other side of the gymnasium. _Why’s he doing this?! What did I do that was so wrong? I’m going to die soon, and I can’t even spend the last of my time with the person I love._ Every time Ushijima ignored him, Tendou felt like his heart was being crushed. The ace was pulling away, and Tendou didn’t know what he could do to stop it.

_Alright, alright, it’s fine. You can think about this in the morning._ Tendou pushed his chair back, stumbling to his bed unsteadily and flopping down like a dying fish. He was so emotionally exhausted, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

*

_Bee-beep. Bee-beep. Bee-beep._ The annoying, incessant beeping of his alarm clock steadily got louder as Tendou faded back into consciousness. He blearily slammed a hand on top of it to turn it off and sleepily glanced at the LED numbers on the screen. _Hmm. Eight fifty. He yawned. Just five more minutes... Wait. Eight fifty?!_ He was supposed to be in class five minutes ago! He tried to sit up and get out of bed, but he was tangled up in the sheets in a blanket burrito, and he ended up rolling off the mattress and body-slamming the hardwood floor. _Ow! Jesus fucking christ—_ He scrambled up, kicking the blankets off and haphazardly tossing them back onto the bed in a pile. He wrenched open his wardrobe door and grabbed a uniform set, frantically tugging it off the hanger and silently thanking the gods that he hadn’t procrastinated on doing his laundry and ironing for once in his life.

_Fuuuuuuuuuck, fuck fuck fuck, shit, holy shit, damn it-_ Tendou was learning very quickly that hopping around on one foot while trying to wear his socks and pants and take off the T-shirt he slept in at the same time was not a good idea, or fun. At all. He finally yanked his top off and shrugged on his light blue dress shirt, quickly buttoning it up to his neck, before he realised that the buttons were misaligned and he was wearing it inside out. _Oh, come on!_ It took him a solid ten minutes to set his uniform to rights, including doing his tie. _Stupid Winston knot. Who the heck invented you, anyway?!_ He gave himself a quick once-over in his full-length mirror, making sure he hadn’t missed any part of his school attire. _Loafers, pants, shirt, jacket, tie... Fuck, my hair!_

By this time it was already past nine, and Tendou’s red hair was still in a mess, flopping down over his forehead and hanging in his eyes. He leaned forward and squinted at his reflection in the mirror. _Screw this._ He dashed into the bathroom and turned on the tap, shoving his hands under the water and raking them through his hair in a futile attempt to tame it. He eventually ended up with some sort of a messy sweep-back, with a few rebellious strands still flicking forwards and catching on his eyelashes. _Oh well. I guess it’s good enough. Not exactly my style, but good enough._

He rushed back outside, flicking the excess water droplets off his fingers and wiping them off on his pants. Bending down and grabbing his bag, he snatched his phone off his bedside table and rushed out of his room, locking the door and praying fervently that he hadn’t forgotten to do or pack any homework or textbooks the previous night. _Thank the gods I don’t puke flowers in the mornings._

*

_What a long, shitty day. Someone up there hates me, don’t they?_ Tendou sighed through his nose as he chucked his wrapping tape back into his bag and zipped it up. Today’s practice had been especially brutal, and Tendou had spent at least five minutes wheezing alone in the bathroom afterwards, trying to catch his breath.

“Tendou.” He startled, jumping as Ushijima’s voice rumbled behind him. Despite all his brawn and muscle, the guy could be eerily quiet when he wanted to.

“Wakkun! Umm— I... I know I asked before, but did I do something wrong that made you avoid me for the past weeks, Wakatoshi?” _...This is the first time he’s willingly spoken to me in ages._

Ushijima’s face was unreadable, as always. “No. You didn’t. Walk with me.”

“...Of course, Wakkun.” Tendou tried to ignore the way his insides were suddenly doing the conga. _Come on, you know you can’t confess. He doesn’t love you that way, and it’ll only make things awkward. You don’t want to lose him as a friend, do you?_ He took a deep breath and smoothed out his face, keeping his expression neutral.

They arrived at their dorms way too soon. Tendou fished his keys out of his bag and unlocked his door as Ushijima lifted his hand in a farewell wave. Just as he was about to step in, Ushijima said something extremely unexpected (honestly, it was unexpected that he spoke at all). “You should leave your hair down more often. You look good.”

Those simple words sent the butterflies in Tendou’s stomach rioting even more than they already were. You know that feeling when you’re on a rollercoaster, when you’ve just passed the incline and you’re going down the track, and your stomach drops and makes you feel like throwing up in the best way possible? That was how Tendou felt right then. He couldn’t help it. The poor boy was completely whipped. He suddenly realised that he must have looked absolutely stunned, so he relaxed his lips and felt them curling up into the most genuine smile he had worn on his face in days. “Sure, Wakkun.”

Ushijima gave him an awkward nod, staring hard at the floor. _Poor boy isn’t used to giving compliments, is he?_ Tendou laughed quietly to himself as he watched the ace retreat back into the relative safety of his own room further down the corridor.

That stupidly happy smile stayed on his face once he went into his dorm. It was still there when he took a shower in the evening, and it was still stubbornly stuck on when he went to sleep at night. For the first time in a long time, Tendou actually had a reason to smile. He tried (and failed miserably) not to think of the way that a single compliment from Ushijima had made his entire previously shitty day. _If this is what it’s like to be best friends with him again... That’s good enough for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this off my own personal experience, and I know first hand it is NOT fun when you’re late for school🙃🙄


	9. Daffodils

Tendou was happy. Truly, stupidly happy. Ushijima had been stuck to his side for days, only saying goodbye at night when they went back to their dorms. They were pretty much joined at the hip. He was obviously only sorry about ignoring Tendou, but the red-haired boy couldn’t help but hope that he was being so nice for some other unplatonic reason. As much as he hoped (and he hoped a lot), Tendou knew that he was fooling himself. Ushijima didn’t love him that way.

That didn’t stop Tendou from hoping, though, and it definitely didn’t stop him from falling even deeper in love with Ushijima every day. He knew it would only shorten the time he had left to live, he knew, but what was the point of living on if he denied his feelings? His love for Ushijima would eventually be the cause of his death, but at the same time, it was his only reason to live. Ushijima went back to being his closest confidante, his secret keeper, the person he trusted and loved the most, maybe even more than he trusted and loved himself. Ushijima didn’t know, but Tendou’s life was literally in his hands. And Tendou was completely, totally okay with that.

Before long, the flowers had changed again.

_Daffodils are associated with “regard” but there is also a listing of the symbolic meaning of flowers in which the daffodil is associated with “uncertainty”, “chivalry” “respect” or “unrequited love”._

The soft triangular yellow petals were coming up in huge chunks and whole flowers stained with blood, and even stalks made their occasional appearance. _Three weeks. Three weeks at most before I die. If only he loved me back... Oh well. I suppose it’s good enough just to be friends. Even if it hurts._ As much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, Tendou knew, deep down, that he would never truly be satisfied with being just friends. But the sad, painful truth was that they would never be anything more. Right?


	10. Red Roses II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, me being me, I had to add smut even though I didn’t plan any at first, so... Shower sex scene anyone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to skip the smut, just skip to the next chapter once they get to the dorms, You won’t miss much :)

Tendou stood up straight and stretched, putting his arms above his head and relishing in the slightly painful pull of his sore shoulders. He had been in the gymnasium for two hours since school ended, and it was already five in the afternoon. He had wanted to practice his blocks and improve his stamina, and perhaps even try to strengthen his weakened lungs a little. He spent the entire time throwing a volleyball at a wall on the side of the dorm so he could block it when it rebounded, and running laps around the edge of the school compound. He hadn’t practised in the gymnasium because he had wanted to get a breath of fresh air and inhale something else other than the stark scent of antiseptic and lemon floor polish. It wasn’t bad, but after a while, anyone would get sick of it.

_Oof. My shoulders are gonna kill me tomorrow. Worth it, though. Haven’t had this much time to unwind and think for a good long while._ He coughed. His eyes widened. _Fuck. But it’s only five! What- I usually only start coughing at around eight._ He coughed again, stronger this time. _Okay. Fuck, okay. Bathroom._ He picked up his gym bag and volleyball, walking quickly towards the bathrooms next to the gymnasium, speeding up as he started coughing violently. Bringing his elbow up to his mouth to cough into, the painfully familiar feeling of a stalk poking at the back of his throat made him gag.

He slammed open the main door, his shoes skidding across the grimy floor. _Thank fuck there’s no one here._ He ran all the way to the last stall, his regular stall, and chucked his bag onto the floor, dropping to his knees just as he hacked a glob of phlegm into the toilet bowl. On a normal day, he would cringe at how dirty the floor was, but today, the stalk in his throat was unbearably uncomfortable, more so than any other time beforehand. After a solid minute of coughing, it became painfully obvious that the flower that had lodged itself firmly in Tendou’s throat wasn’t going to come out by itself. Cringing, Tendou shoved two fingers into his mouth, trying to grasp the end of the stem stuck in his windpipe. _What the heck? The stems are never this thick! Don’t tell me the flowers changed again-_ He struck gold. _Yes!_ Gripping the stem in his fingers, Tendou yanked it forward viciously, undeterred when he gagged. He pulled the entire thing out of his throat, coughing afterwards as his body tried to clear out the excess blood and phlegm.

Little did he know that he wasn’t alone. “T-Tendou?”

 _H-Huh?_ Tendou whipped his head around to see none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi standing behind him, a startled expression on his face. _Damn him and his creepily quiet footsteps._ He watched as Ushijima backed away in shock ( _please don’t let it be in disgust too_ ), banging his shoulder into the stall door, and something red and green dropped from his fingers to the floor. _...It’s a red rose. Don’t they mean love or something?_ Tendou’s heart couldn’t help but speed up as the thought momentarily flitted across his mind before he pushed it away. “Wakkun, I—” he stammered, staring pleadingly at Ushijima (even though he didn’t even know what he was pleading for)... Before he realised that his best friend wasn’t looking at him, not directly.

More specifically, he was staring at Tendou’s hand. Tendou’s hand that was dripping blood onto the already-grimy floor. Tendou’s hand that was still clutching whatever flower he had pulled out of his throat. _Oh!_ Tendou looked at his hand. _...Oh._ A bloody red rose, nearly identical to the one that Ushijima had dropped, was dangling loosely from his fingers. He turned back to Ushijima, his lips opening and closing as he tried to find his words, even though he didn’t even know what exactly he wanted to say.

As it turned out, he didn’t need to say anything at all. “Who is it?” Ushijima asked, the tone of his voice uncharacteristically gentle (he felt like it was pretty appropriate then). He tried his best to look blasé, but inside, he felt his heart wrench viciously. Even though he had pretty much convinced himself that he and Tendou could never be together, it still hurt, badly, to see the boy he loved pining after someone else. He watched as Tendou sat down with his knees folded beneath him, fidgeting nervously, looking to the side and biting his lip. _Oh my god, he looks adorable— No. Bad Wakatoshi._ He tried his best to gather his thoughts and feelings, and he succeeded marginally before one word from Tendou’s mouth scattered them all over again.

“You.”

 _...Me. Me?_ “I’m sorry, but did you just say me?” Ushijima didn’t know what to say, or think, and definitely not what to feel. He was half in disbelief, half in confusion, and hope had suddenly hit him so hard it felt like a solid punch to the gut. His chest felt tight, like something in it was stretched nearly to breaking, and it would snap at the slightest touch... Ushijima couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Tendou flushed a delicate pink, still staring determinedly at a dirty spot on the floor, deliberately avoiding Ushijima’s gaze. “Yeah. Please don’t get mad, we can still be friends, right? I promise that this won’t change anything, I won’t act any different, or... anything... C-Could we just forget that this ever happened and pretend that you didn’t see anything? ...You weren’t even supposed to find out. Wakkun? Please say something...”

Ushijima was still processing. Part of his brain was gushing over how cute Tendou looked, with his cheeks flushed and legs folded almost demurely to the side. Another part was still absorbing the information that Tendou loved him. Tendou loved him. The boy that he loved loved him back. His eyes came back into focus, zoning in on Tendou’s increasingly blushy, nervous and panicked face. _What do I say to a confession? I’ve loved you for months and I thought you didn’t feel the same way so I kept quiet, and I have Hanahaki too? Umm, okay, no, oh, for fuck’s sake, Wakatoshi, just say something!_ “What if I don’t want to forget? Or pretend?” He took a step towards Tendou. “What if I don’t want to be just friends anymore?” Another step. “Satori...” He slowly sunk down in front of the red-haired boy, one knee before the other. “For two months, I’ve loved you. I’ve tried to fight my feelings, deny them, rationalise them away somehow, but it never worked. I love you too much,” he whispered, looking into Tendou’s shocked, wide, dark red eyes. Raising his left hand, he cupped Tendou’s warm cheek, running a thumb over his red eyebrow. Internally, he was panicking a little, but he decided to just wing it and say whatever his heart told him to. “Why else would I have that rose? I choked it up just now. I’ve been living with Hanahaki for two months now, and all I’ve been able to think about is you.”

Tendou was still frozen in place. “So... you’re saying you love me. I love you, and you love me back. Is that— is— I...” He lifted his right hand to wrap his fingers around Ushijima’s wrist before he realised that it was still holding a bloody rose. He sighed, tilting his face into the warm palm gently cradling his cheek instead. In all of his numerous daydreams and fantasies, he had never imagined that he and Ushijima would confess to each other while sitting on a grimy bathroom floor, both shocked half to hell and bearing roses.

“How long?” Ushijima’s tone turned worried as his attention was drawn back to the crimson-soaked flower in Tendou’s hand, his eyebrows furrowing together slightly.

Tendou cleared his throat awkwardly. “I have a week left at most.”

Various emotions flashed across Ushijima’s face, first shock, then frustration and sadness, and finally determination. It was kind of freaking Tendou out. _Did I break him? Or did I just magically get better at reading him all of a sudden? He usually never talks this much either..._

His train of thought was cut off as Ushijima opened his mouth. “You had one week left. _Had._ Not have. There is no way I’m letting you die, not if I can help it.”

Tendou snorted at the irony. “And? How could you say that when you weren’t planning on telling me about your feelings yourself? If I didn’t love you back or have Hanahaki, I would have had to watch you die.”

In any other context, the words would have stung, but Ushijima knew that there was no venom or force behind them at all. Tendou was looking at him too tenderly for that. “Well, I guess that makes me a coward, then.”

“If you’re a coward, then I’m one too. I didn’t want to tell you because I’d rather settle for just being friends than risk losing you completely if you didn’t love me back.” Tendou smiled in disbelief and happiness, a hot tear falling from his right eye. Ushijima moved his thumb and swiped it away gently, his heart warming as Tendou nuzzled further into his palm. “I love you too, Wakatoshi.” He could already feel his lungs healing. Maybe he was tricking himself, or maybe it was a placebo effect, but he was breathing way easier than he had for the past months, and the coppery taste of blood that was always there seemed to be disappearing too, albeit slowly. He knew that it shouldn’t be physically possible for his body to heal that fast after months of trauma, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind for the time being. _If flowers can grow out of our lungs, love can heal me at an inhuman speed. It’s actually perfectly reasonable._ At this point, he himself couldn’t even tell if he was being sarcastic or not. He was too emotionally unstable to care, either.

Ushijima stood up slowly, stretching out his legs and wincing as his knees creaked. He reached a hand out to Tendou, urging the blocker to fit his palm against his. “Come on, we can’t stay here forever. It’s late, and I think we both need showers after sitting on this filthy floor. Can I... Can I stay in your room? For tonight? I’d like to stay with you, if... if that’s okay.”

 _Yep. I’m pretty sure I broke him._ Tendou was shocked that Ushijima was taking the initiative to develop and nurture their relationship, whatever it was called now, but he definitely couldn’t deny that he was pleased and touched anyway. He beamed up at Ushijima, sliding their palms together and standing with his help. “Of course you can, Wakkun. But! Only if we’re dating now.” He grinned cheekily, wiggling his eyebrows.

Ushijima felt his lips curl up into a soft smile. “Okay, my darling _boyfriend_.”

“Wow, Wakkun. So chatty, I love this side of you,” Tendou smirked, a giggle bubbling over his lips as Ushijima pulled him in and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Only for you, Satori.” He tugged Tendou out of the stall, picking up his boyfriend’s gym bag and the rose he had dropped earlier on, lacing their fingers together. They stopped at the sinks for Tendou to wash the blood off his hand, before he stilled. “Should we keep the roses? I mean, they’re pretty, but I kinda wanna put the entire Hanahaki thing behind us and forget about it, you know what I mean? And I have you now, so...”

Ushijima smiled gently (it was quickly becoming a habit with Tendou around, he realised). “Let’s throw them away, then.”

Ushijima picked up the rose that Tendou had set aside, moving to the sink next to the one Tendou was using. He turned on the tap, rinsing off the drying blood so it wouldn’t stain his fingers. Flicking the excess water into the sink, he took the other rose from Tendou and laced their fingers together again, dumping the flowers into the trash can by the door and walking out of the bathroom. Hand in hand, they strolled all the way up to the dorms, before Tendou tugged on Ushijima’s arm, taking back his gym bag. “Wakkun? You said you wanted to shower, right? Could you... Maybe drop by your room and get your clothes and then come back? And could you bring something for me too? Just a shirt or— or something, I just... I wanna wear something of yours.”

_Oh my god, he’s so fucking cute._ “Y-Yeah, sure. I’ll be back in a bit,” Ushiiima mumbled, dropping a kiss to Tendou’s cheek and jogging off to his room.

 _Damn, his back muscles though, and those hands... Goddamit, why am I so horny? Jesus, we literally just started dating._ Tendou shook his head, trying to cut off his rather inappropriate train of thought. He smiled a little nonetheless and unlocked his room door, leaning against it and waiting for his boyfriend. Before long, Ushijima came back, holding a T-shirt, sweatpants, boxers and a hoodie.

He held the light grey hoodie out to Tendou, looking apprehensive and almost... nervous. “Is this okay?”

 _Awwwwww, Wakkun._ “Of course it’s okay. Come in,” he chirped, tugging the soft bundle of fabric out of Ushijima’s hands.

The ace stepped inside, looking everywhere and absorbing every single little detail about Tendou’s room, even though it had the exact same layout as his. Tendou was bustling about, his back to Ushijima, taking clothes from his closet and grabbing an extra towel for Ushijima to use. _God, he’s cute and sweet, and hot, and those legs— Nope. Let’s stop right there._

“We’re sharing the bed, right? Do you mind if I just wear boxers and the hoodie later?” Tendou called over his shoulder, his head still stuck in his closet.

Ushijima cleared his throat. “No, no, whatever you’re comfortable with. So... Do you want to shower first or...?” His breath caught in his throat as Tendou turned around, eyes wide and darting all over Ushijima’s face.

“I’m sorry, I just... Can I kiss you?” Tendou asked breathlessly, slowly walking towards Ushijima. _He looks so beautiful, so... strong. I wonder how hard he’d be able to fuck— Mmm. Nope. Not gonna think about that._ His heart stuttered as Ushijima reached out and cupped his face with both hands, his own hands sliding across his broad shoulders. He leaned down, tugging his boyfriend’s face upwards, closing his eyes along with the distance between them and pressing his lips gently against Tendou’s.

_Hmm. His lips are soft. Softer than I expected, actually._ That was the first thought that crossed Tendou’s mind, followed almost immediately by _Oh my god, I’m kissing Ushijima Wakatoshi. I’m kissing Ushijima Wakatoshi!_ It was a simple kiss, just gentle pressure and nothing more, but it was more than enough to make Tendou’s heart speed up until he was sure that Ushijima could hear it galloping in his chest. Yet, they both knew that it wasn’t enough. Tendou gasped as Ushijima tugged him forward with a strong arm around his back, crushing them together, his lips suddenly pressing against Tendou’s with an intensity that left him breathless. _And to think that I thought I would have to be the one to initiate stuff._ His boyfriend took the opportunity as his lips parted, running his tongue gently along the seam of Tendou’s lips, licking and searching for something that Ushijima hadn’t known he needed until now.

_Oh my god. He— I’m—_ Ushijima was sure that his brain was shorting out. He was seeing sparks behind his eyelids, his tongue and lips moving on pure instinct alone. He found himself gently licking into Tendou’s open mouth, running his tongue along his teeth, tracing the roof of his mouth. He couldn’t hold back a muffled hum as Tendou shivered against him, letting out a tiny whimper that Ushijima gladly swallowed down. They both knew it _still_ wasn’t enough. Tendou pulled back, panting, and Ushijima leaned forward as his body tried to follow, but his boyfriend only leaned their foreheads together.

“Shower with me.” Tendou’s breath was coming out in short bursts as he tried to catch his breath, his cheeks painted a faint pink.

Ushijima could feel himself getting hard under his sweatpants. _Adorable. I wonder if he’d look like this when he comes on my— What is wrong with me?!_ “Umm... Tendou, I-I don’t—”

“Oh! Okay, yeah, umm... I’m sorry I—”

Ushijima had to shut him up with another kiss, sliding his tongue into Tendou’s mouth, trying to show his feelings with actions when his words had failed him. When he finally pulled away, they were both panting hard, adrenaline rushing through their veins and hearts racing. “I’d love to.”

Tendou grabbed his clothes with one hand and Ushijima’s hand with the other, tugging him into the bathroom. He dumped the clothes on his closed toilet seat, stilling for a moment with his back to Ushijima before he began to strip. _Oh my god. Is he actually my boyfriend now? I can— I can look, right? Am I even allowed to?_ Ushijima was sure that setting his eyes upon such a perfect creature was a crime, somehow.

As if sensing his thoughts, a now shirtless Tendou shucked off his shorts and boxers and whispered over his shoulder, “You’re allowed to look, you know. I’m your boyfriend now. I wouldn’t have asked you to shower with me if I didn’t want you to see me... But if you’re not comfortable, then—” He was cut off by bare arms sliding into place around his waist from behind, fitting against him perfectly like they had always belonged there.

The entire time Tendou was talking, Ushijima was kind of in a daze. His body started moving by itself, dragging off his shirt, pushing down his pants and boxers, desperate for any form of skin-to-skin contact, for Tendou’s touch. Ushijima had long since convinced himself that Tendou and his love were something that he could never have, but now that he already had one and the other was right in front of him, literally within arm’s reach... He wrapped his arms around Tendou and dropped a soft kiss to the side of his neck, something he had fantasised about doing for so long that it seemed familiar even though he had never actually done it in real life. He tugged his boyfriend backwards while opening the shower door, guided him carefully over the edge. As Tendou closed the door behind them and turned on the shower, they were suddenly both painfully aware of the small, enclosed space they were in. Naked. Together.

_Hmm, he’s so warm. Would he feel that warm inside my— Why am I hard. Why am I hard why am I hard why am I hard—_ Tendou panicked a bit as Little Tendou started perking up before something hard brushed against the small of his back. _Wait... Is he hard too?_ He turned around uncertainly, staring into Ushijima’s expressive olive eyes, inching forward until they were pressed flush together under the warm spray of water and there was no denying that they wanted each other. They surged together in a kiss, rougher than the last one, this one filled with bruising lips and questing tongues and gently biting teeth. Even though neither of them had kissed anyone before (Tendou didn’t know about Ushijima, but he was pretty sure), instinct was serving to be a pretty good guide. And right now, the primordial instinct to mate, to pleasure, to be bred was clawing its way into Tendou’s chest... Or rather, his dick.

“Tendou... do you want this?” Ushijima pulled back, panting, fully aware of their hard cocks rubbing together.

“Yes, god, I want— I want you. So bad.” Tendou flushed red as he said this, the tip of his swollen cock red enough to match his hair, already flopping down over his forehead as it was drenched by the shower.

“Okay. Umm, all the way, or just—” Ushijima had never felt more awkward in his entire life, but he wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.

“Yeah. All the way, I want— I need— I’ve waited for you, Wakatoshi. I’ve _waited_.”

Ushijima felt his dick twitch at the blocker’s words, beads of precum already rolling down his marginally longer-and-thicker-than-average length.

“I know... I’ve waited for you, too. How do you want me?”

In reply, Tendou flipped around, pulling away from Ushijima and pressing his body to the wall, shivering at the coldness of the ceramic tiles and the condensation gathering on his overheating skin. _Oh my god, we’re actually gonna do this._ He shuddered as he felt a callused palm caress the area between his shoulder blades, rough fingers trailing slowly, almost teasingly, down his spine. A soft pair of lips pressed against the back of his neck, sucking and nibbling and leaving a mark.

 _Ha. Now if he wants to hide that, he’ll have to leave his hair down tomorrow._ Ushijima trailed his fingers even lower, over the plush curve of Tendou’s ass, his cock stirring as Tendou shuddered against him again. His fingers leaving skin for a brief moment to coat them in his own saliva, he brought them to Tendou’s asshole, placing a comforting kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek, wrapping a protective arm around his torso.

“Tell me if it hurts. I’m gonna put one in first, okay?” As soon as he heard Tendou’s hum of assent, he eased one fingertip into the tight ring of muscle, eyes going wide as Tendou clamped down on it like a vice. “Babe, you okay? Does it hurt?” He watched the tension drain from Tendou’s back at the pet name.

“No, no, just— unfamiliar. Keep going,” Tendou breathed. Wiggling his finger deeper inside and drawing back out again, Ushijima tried his best to keep Tendou comfortable, constantly searching his expression and body language for any sign of major discomfort. Soon, he was able to add another thick finger, scissoring Tendou open as gently as possible and nearly groaning when his boyfriend whimpered from the stretch. He was painfully hard, but he was determined to put Tendou before himself.

“Wa-Wakatoshi— _Haaaaaaa—_ ” Tendou was wriggling around against the tiles. Ushijima’s fingers in his ass didn’t feel bad, just strange. He had never fingered himself before, and to be honest, he was a little nervous. He had sneaked a peek at Ushijima’s cock earlier, and it was big. _Very_ big. If he couldn’t handle fingers, how was he going to take _that_ up his ass? _And I don’t know how to give him a blowjob either... What if I can’t satisfy him?_

_He’s too tense._ “Satori? What’s wrong? We can stop at any time, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. What are you thinking about that’s got you so tense all of a sudden?” Ushijima nuzzled his nose into the back of Tendou’s neck. He was worried that Tendou was forcing himself, and that made his heart hurt, the thought of the boy he loved bearing pain just for his pleasure.

“I just— It’s my first time,” Tendou stated, his tone short. “I don’t— I’ve never even fingered myself before, and I-I’m scared that... that I won’t be able to please you properly.”

Ushijima’s heart went _squeeeeeeeeze_. “Satori. Satori, look at me.” He reached over Tendou’s shoulder and turned his chin gently, going in for a gentle peck on the lips. “This is my first time too. And I’m _terrified_. I’m terrified that I’ll hurt you by accident, or that you won’t feel good. But the best we can do is learn together, isn’t it?” Another loving kiss. “I’m honoured to be your first, Satori. I...I love you. I promise I’ll take care of you.”

Tendou let out a breath through his nose, trying to exhale his worries with it. “I know you will, Wakkun. I love you too.” With that, Ushijima started moving his fingers again, stretching them apart a little. He curled them, and— “ _Ah!_ ”

“Satori?!”

“Right there, again, _please—”_ Ushijima tried to find that little nub that his middle finger had brushed against purely by accident. He knew he had succeeded when Tendou arched against him, a whine escaping his lips, his body turning to putty. Ushijima slipped another finger in, aiming for Tendou’s prostate now, and soon Tendou was whining and writhing against him, spasming around his fingers, heavily neglected cock dripping precum. Ushijima took a moment to admire his boyfriend’s beauty, lean muscles shifting under pale skin, gilded under the shower spray.

“Wakatoshi... I’m ready, just— I want—” Tendou reached back and grasped Ushijima’s girth in his hand, pumping it a few times. It felt like stroking steel covered in silk, and Tendou wanted it, badly. Ushijima groaned. “Fuck... Satori, you— you’re— perfect. You’re so perfect. Relax for me, okay?” Ushijima was shaking slightly. He supposed how he felt now was akin to how he felt on the court, the adrenaline rush, the slight touch of nerves. He wanted to hold back, but at the same time, some primordial instinct was screaming at him to fuck Tendou so hard that he passed out from the pleasure, so hard that he would never forget what it felt like. He grasped his length in one hand, holding Tendou steady as he pressed in, air hissing out through his teeth as the swollen head of his cock slipped into his boyfriend’s tight asshole. He forced himself to go slow, pressing forward inch by inch until he was finally fully sheathed in Tendou’s tight, wet heat.

_Okay. Okay, that wasn’t so ba—_ “ _Ngh_!” Tendou’s jaw dropped as Ushijima bucked his hips experimentally. It had burned at first, but in the best way, and now... He spread his palms flat against the white ceramic tiles on the bathroom wall. “F-Fuck... Harder, Toshi, I’m not gonna break.”

“Are you sure? It’s your first time, and—” Ushijima hesitated, his hips stilling for that one moment.

Tendou almost whined. “I want you to fuck me properly. Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough? I want you.” He looked over his shoulder sultrily, his eyes heavy-lidded and glassy with lust, hair hanging messily in his eyes, shuddering as he felt Ushijima pulse within him.

Ushijima could feel his self-control slipping away. _Fuck. Fuck. Hold back, dammit. You can’t hurt him._

“Wakatoshi. You’re overthinking. I said I wanted you to _fuck_ me, not make love to me. That can come later,” Tendou smirked his voice heavy with the implication that they probably weren’t going to sleep much that night. And finally, finally, Ushijima gave in. He pulled out to the tip and slammed home back into Tendou’s wet heat, one arm wrapped tight around his slim stomach and crushing Tendou’s back to his chest, his other hand pressed across his mouth to muffle the delectable little noises he was making every time he thrust in. Ushijima wished they were alone, in some secluded place, just so he could hear Tendou’s voice screaming his name without restraint... But boy, was he going to make Tendou _scream_ tonight anyway. At this point, he couldn’t care less if people heard. It was but a mild inconvenience.

Tendou’s entire body felt like it was falling apart from the pleasure, a flower collapsing petal by petal. He cried out into Ushijima’s palm every time the ace sank deeper inside him, carving out a place for his huge, hard cock. The stretch was unbelievable. Tendou was snug and hot and slick around him, clenching down tightly every time he slid back in with a loud squelch. Ushijima saw Tendou’s reflection in the wet, glossy tiles of the bathroom, grabbing onto Ushijima’s hand on his mouth for dear life as his boyfriend fucked the living daylights out of him, eyes huge and wide-open one second, fluttering shut and rolling back with pleasure the next as Ushijima gave a particularly deep thrust.

Tendou was being fucked open in the best way possible. He could feel every ridge, every vein on the fat cock buried deep inside of him, stretching him out and stuffing him full. To his credit, Ushijima was trying to hold back, but it was really difficult while buried to the hilt in Tendou’s tight ass, his boyfriend clenching snug around his rock hard cock. _And I intend to make it as difficult to hold back as possible._ “You’re holding back, T-Toshi,” he gasped shakily, shuddering with the force of Ushijima’s thrusts. “Don’t hold back.”

“But I don’t want to hurt-“

“I want you to _ruin me_ , Wakatoshi. I want everything, e-everything you can give me-”

If Tendou thought that he felt good before...... That was nothing compared to what he felt now. _Oh f-fuck, he was holding back. He was definitely holding back._ Tendou let loose a choked scream into Ushijima’s palm as he was suddenly impaled and split open brutally on his boyfriend’s thick girth.

“Do you like it when I take you like this? Hmm?” Ushijima growled, feeling a primal, carnal desire that he had previously been trying to suppress claw its way to the surface. “Do you, Satori? Do you want me to bend you over and fuck you hard and fast until you can’t take my cock anymore? Until your legs give out, hmm?” Tendou would have answered, but he was too busy getting his brains fucked out to reply. He had no idea that Ushijima could talk like this, but _goddamn_ was he glad he did. His gasping cries climbed higher, needier, until he was mewling into Ushijima’s warm palm every time his cock slammed back into him. “Answer me, Tori. How much do you want this? How much do you want my cock?” Tendou keened out loud as Ushijima slammed his hips forward, slapping them against Tendou’s ass.

“Ngh- I- I want it, I w-want it so bad, fuck, Toshi, To- TOSHI!” He shrieked as Ushijima hit a spot inside of him that sent bolts of pleasure streaking through his body.

Ushijima smirked, a growl rumbling through his chest. “How hard do you want me to fuck you?” He rammed his hips forward, aiming straight for his boyfriend’s prostate. He looked at Tendou’s blissed-out reflection, eyes rolling back, long red lashes fluttering rapidly, drool and water from the shower dripping down his chin. _Not enough. It’s not enough. I want to see his face, not just his reflection._

“H-hard, Toshi, fuck me harder, r-right there, fuck me, oh gods, T-Toshi- more, I want- NGH- want more- Please, fuck-“

 _I know, I know, I know._ Ushijima pulled out with a wet squelch and turned Tendou around, grabbing his waist and supporting him when his boyfriend’s unsteady knees buckled.

Tendou mewled in protest, already reaching for Ushijima’s long, thick girth, wanting it back inside him. “I know, I know, Tori, just hold on-“ Ushijima bent down slightly and tucked his elbows under Tendou’s knees, coaxing the blocker to wrap his long arms around his thick neck. He hoisted his boyfriend into his arms, shuffling forward and pressing Tendou’s back against the wall. Adjusting his grip on Tendou, he hooked the blocker’s knees even more securely over his elbows, huge hands wrapping around his slim waist. Tendou’s weight was now resting entirely on his arms and the wall, and Ushijima was sure he would have felt the strain, if only the endorphins and lust he felt coursing through his veins weren’t so all-consuming.

“T-Toshi- need you-“ Tendou would normally have felt uncomfortable in this position, with his legs spread wide open and his thighs straining to support his weight, but he didn’t care. He just wanted Ushijima’s cock inside him again, fucking him open, rearranging his guts in the most delicious way possible.

“I know, I know, Satori- Fuck, I love you,” Ushijima panted, squeezing Tendou’s waist in warning. He bucked his hips upwards, groaning deeply as he slipped back into his boyfriend’s wet heat that was starting to feel more and more like home. “F-Fuck, you’re- you’re so fucking- tight! Ngh-“

“NYA! I love- love you t-too... F-Fuck... Harder, fuck, fuck me harder, HARDER! Ngh- _ohmygodjustlikethat_ , please, _pleasepleaseplease_ -” Tendou was sobbing, trying desperately (and failing miserably) not to be too loud. No one could blame him, really, not when he was being fucked so hard and deep he saw white spots all over his vision, and when Ushijima hit his prostate- “TOSHI! R-Right there, please, right there, right- right THERE, OH MY GOD, FUCK-“

Ushijima sped up as he felt Tendou clench around him. He had found his prostate, and there was no way in hell that he was going to let that chance go to waste. He groaned as he watched a bulge tunnel up Tendou’s usually slim stomach, the outline of his cock clearly visible as he fucked Tendou into oblivion. His boyfriend’s mouth was hanging open, lean body glistening with sweat and water, gleaming under the harsh fluorescent lights. “Look at you. So pretty, even when you’re being railed on my cock.” Here, with the boy he loved bouncing on his cock, wrapped around him, writhing between him and a bathroom wall and screaming his name...... _I’m not gonna last long._

He leaned forward and tenderly pressed his lips against Tendou’s, licking gently into his mouth, a stark contrast to the way he was roughly fucking him against the wall. “Are you gonna come for me, Tori?” He slammed his hips upward animalistically, relishing the red-haired boy’s hoarse scream as the head of his huge cock rammed into his prostate.

“T-Toshi- I’m gonna- gonna- Fuck, Toshi, come with me, f-fill me up, I want- please- want your cum, i-inside me, please, OH GODS, FUCK, FUCK, WAKATOSHI!!!” Ushijima rested his forehead against Tendou’s and growled as Tendou came around his cock, toes curling, eyes rolling back and his twitching cock splattering white, creamy cum all over Ushijima’s chest. His face was flushed, saliva dripping down his jaw in a way that should have been gross, but it was honestly just......hot. His ass clenched down so hard it was almost painful, but that, combined with the sound of Tendou screaming his name with abandon, pushed him over the edge. His entire body tensed up as his orgasm hit him like a tidal wave, mind blissed the fuck out and powerful muscles bunching as he painted his boyfriend’s inner walls white with his cum and filled him to the verge of overflowing.

They panted as they slowly came down from their highs, cheeks flushed and shoulders trembling, soaked under the miraculously still-warm spray of the shower. Tendou shuddered as he felt the heat of Ushijima’s cum spread through his stomach, warming him from the inside out. Ushijima slowly pulled out, his half-hard cock twitching as globs of his own cum dripped out of Tendou’s fucked-open body and splattered onto the tiled floor. He bent down and placed Tendou’s feet on the ground, unhooking his arms from his boyfriend’s legs. His eyes went wide as Tendou slumped forward, pressing his forehead to Ushijima’s shoulder, arms still around his neck. “Fuck. Satori? Satori! I’m so sorry, I told you I shouldn’t have-“

“I’m f-fine. I’m fine. Just- shaky legs,” Tendou laughed, pressing his face against Ushijima’s solid shoulder. “Who would have thought you talk that much during sex?”

“I just- I just wanted to make you feel good,” Ushijima mumbled almost shyly, looking to the side with flushing cheeks while winding his arms around Tendou’s waist to support him.

Tendou sighed, smiling. “It’s not just that, is it? I mean, I’ve never felt so damn good in my life, and I appreciate it, but that’s not the only reason why you’re being so chatty,” he mumbled, pressing the words and a few tiny kisses into his shoulder.

Ushijima sighed in defeat. “Alright, you caught me. If I hadn’t found you tonight...... You would have died, Satori. You would have died because of me. I guess I’m trying to make up for that and the past few months.”

“Hmm. I love it when you tell me what you’re thinking, but it was not and never will be your fault. I fell in love with you on my own accord.” He yawned. “And I know that words aren’t your favourite way of expressing things. You don’t have to force yourself for me if you’re not comfortable, okay?” Tendou sighed into his boyfriend’s warm skin, the heat radiating from it and the shower and the amazing orgasm he just had putting him into sleepy mode.

Ushijima wanted to argue that he wasn’t forcing himself, but he knew that that would be a blatant lie, and also pointless with how drowsy Tendou was right then. He chuckled as Tendou hummed contentedly, already drifting off into Dreamland™. “Just don’t fall over, okay? Let me clean us up and then we can go to bed.” At his words, Tendou jolted upright, before Ushijima brushed a thumb across his temple. “I’ve got you, babe. Just relax and let me take care of you.”

He pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, putting one arm around his shoulders as Tendou curled against him, his free hand reaching around him for the bar of soap on the ledge built into the wall. He lathered himself up first, scrubbing his boyfriend’s cum off his chest, washing the grime from the gym bathroom floor off his legs, lathering his hair and rubbing the soap in as well as he could while still supporting a half-asleep Tendou. He then washed Tendou, gliding the soap bar across soft, creamy skin, rubbing his fingers in soothing circles and massaging the blocker’s tense shoulders. He trailed his callused hands down his pale back, gently easing two soapy fingers into his stretched asshole to clean out any cum left inside, ignoring the way his dick stirred again as Tendou moaned a little at the sensation.

He scooped suds into Tendou’s wet hair, being careful not to let any drip into his eyes. Massaging his boyfriend’s scalp gently, he smiled as he felt Tendou melt against him, his body boneless and pliant, a soft, breathy sigh of bliss escaping his lips. He bent down to wash Tendou’s legs, running his fingers over firm muscle and slick skin. Once he was sure they were both sufficiently soaped up, he guided Tendou under the warm spray of the shower, rinsing the suds off both of them. He carded thick, long fingers through Tendou’s red hair, now a dark maroon since it was soaked, detangling it and smoothing out any knots. As he looked at Tendou, his eyes closed, water droplets raining down on his delicate features, pale skin gleaming like mother-of-pearl, Ushijima wondered what he did to deserve the love of this perfect creature that the world called Tendou Satori. _I can look, finally. He’s mine now. All mine._ The ace couldn’t resist leaning down and planting a loving kiss on his boyfriend’s brow, savouring the blocker’s soft sigh of content.

As soon as they were both clean and soap-free, Ushijima turned off the shower, gently nudging Tendou aside so he could slip through the door of the shower stall to grab the towels they had previously laid out. He unfolded the first one and wrapped it around Tendou’s shoulders like a cape, rubbing the other briskly over his own torso and tucking it securely around his waist. He opened the shower door and stepped out, shivering slightly from the sudden gust of cold air, a firm hand on Tendou’s lower back to guide him. Grabbing the edge of the towel hanging off Tendou’s shoulders, he blotted any excess water off his boyfriend’s body, reaching for the boxers that Tendou had placed on the closed toilet seat before they stepped into the shower stall. He stretched the waistband open and squatted down, chuckling as Tendou yawned, putting his hands on Ushijima’s shoulders and stepping into his underwear. Ushijima stood up, pulling them all the way up Tendou’s lean legs and releasing the elastic with a soft snap. He grabbed his hoodie and shook it out. “Arms up,” he whispered, pulling the hoodie over Tendou’s head and arms after he lifted them.

“Thank you,” Tendou yawned, rubbing his fingers against the soft, downy hairs at Ushijima’s nape. Ushijima dried himself off and dressed, scooping Tendou into his arms to the sound of his sleepy boyfriend’s soft, delighted laughter.

He walked out of the bathroom, putting Tendou down on the bed carefully and then crawling in himself. As they wiggled under the covers, his red-haired boyfriend pulled him close, tucking his head under Ushijima’s chin and pulling his arm around him, curling a long leg around his hip. “I love you. And thank you. I didn’t- I didn’t expect you to be so sweet. I can read you well, but sometimes......”

“I know. I love you too. Go to sleep, babe, I know you’re tired. I’ve got you.” Ushijima knew that they should probably worry about how he was going to sneak back to his room and change without anybody seeing in the morning, or if anyone heard them, but he was too blissed-out to care. Tendou was his. He was Tendou’s. Everything he had hoped and prayed for had fallen into his lap in the form of Tendou Satori, and he’d be damned if he didn’t pamper the fuck out of his boyfriend. And right now, pampering meant cuddles. Tendou was already fast asleep, snoring softly against Ushijima’s neck, fingers twisting into his T-shirt and a slim leg locking the ace in place. He pulled his boyfriend even closer, an arm curving protectively against the small of his back. _Tomorrow. We’ll figure it out tomorrow._ He only had enough energy to figure out how to turn on Tendou’s alarm clock on his nightstand and set it, before he settled back down and let sleep drag him under.


	11. Camellias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night! And maybe something more ;)

Tendou jumped up from where he’d been sprawled lazily on his bed as someone knocked firmly on the door. Adjusting his jeans and T-shirt, he rushed over to the door, yanking it open to the sight of Ushijima Wakatoshi in a hoodie and jeans, clutching a bouquet of white, pink, and red flowers to his chest. “Hey,” the ace whispered, a tiny but awed smile gracing his lips. “You look beautiful.”

Tendou laughed. “I’m literally wearing the most casual outfit I own. Could those possibly be for me?” he grinned, staring at the bouquet in his boyfriend’s hand.

Ever since Wednesday when they had finally gotten together, Ushijima had been absolutely spoiling Tendou, hugging him to sleep every night, helping him tape his fingers and massaging the tension that came hand-in-hand with being a blocker out of his shoulders. Tendou would never have pegged him to be a cuddler, but he was, especially after sex. Every night since they took each other’s virginities, they had been both staying in either Tendou or Ushijima’s room, losing themselves in lust for the rest of the night, Ushijima fucking Tendou hard enough into the mattress that he had actually passed out once or twice. Tendou had been sore for the past few consecutive days, and he had no idea how no one else had heard them with how loud he was being (he had an inkling suspicion that their friends knew, even though they didn’t say anything). Every time without fail, Ushijima would make sure that Tendou came at least three times before he came himself. They were both inexperienced, but that didn’t mean that Ushijima didn’t know how to give a damn good blowjob.

Ushijima swiped a finger across his upper lip. “Yeah, umm... Here. They’re camellias. The white ones mean adoration, pink ones for longing, and...the red ones represent love, passion, and desire. That’s...... That’s how I feel about you. At first, I didn’t confess because I thought that you didn’t love me back, and I didn’t want to make things awkward between us. I’d have rather spent the last year of my life with you platonically than live till I’m old, but without our friendship. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to buy you anything ever since we started dating, and I’ve been trying to make you happy with just...well...me. But I know I’m not enough, and I want to spoil you, so... I ran out this morning and got you these. I hope you like them. Or if you want other flowers, or anything else, I can-”

Ushijima was cut off as Tendou dragged him into his room and shut the door, pulling the flowers out of his hand and crushing their lips together. The ace felt his heart kick up a notch, going into high gear as Tendou nipped at his bottom lip almost admonishingly. “Not enough? Toshi, I would be with you even if you didn’t do anything for me at all. Even if you didn’t buy me anything, or fuck me like an absolute sex god, I’d still be here.” If Ushijima was a blusher, he was sure that his face would be bright red at Tendou’s forwardness. “You’re more than enough, you are and you always will be. I love you. Did you think I was still with you only because of the sex?”

“Well, when Semi and Shirabu started dating, Semi always bought him little trinkets and stuff and he loved it, and I was too busy to get out of school for the past few days, so I just thought-“ Ushijima held his breath as Tendou slid his long arms around his waist, releasing it and relaxing when his red-haired boyfriend was pressed against him and nosing at the spot where his neck met his shoulder.

“Let’s settle this now. I’m with you because I love you. I love the quiet way you look out for our kouhais, the way you always try your best and never give up, even when the odds seem impossible,” Tendou whispered into Ushijima’s neck, sighing in content when he felt his boyfriend’s arms wrap around him. “I love the way you hold me, especially at night when we’re tired and sleepy, but you still watch over me until I fall asleep before you let yourself drift off. I love how you run your fingers through my hair and wrap your arms around me. I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you, Toshi. If you had nothing else, no money, no talent, no gifts, nothing but your love for me...... I’d still be here. As long as you love me, as long as you want me to, I’ll be by your side. You don’t need to give me gifts, or do anything for me to stay, or prove that you love me too.” Tendou smiled gently as Ushijima’s arms tightened around him, his boyfriend leaning down and tucking his face into the crook of Tendou’s neck.

“I still wanna spoil you, though,” he mumbled, lips brushing the blocker’s soft, pale skin.

“Well, alright then. But just know that you don’t have too. I won’t love you any less if you don’t.”

“Still gonna spoil you anyway.” Ushijima exhaled slowly, grinning. “As much as I’d love to stay here like this all day, we do have a doctor’s appointment to get to.” he pulled back, laughing as Tendou clung to him and playfully hissed like a wet cat.

Now that the immediate danger of death by choking on flowers was over, Ushijima and Tendou had decided to go to the hospital for a checkup, just in case there were any side effects or long-term repercussions of Hanahaki that they weren’t aware of. They walked out of the school compound together, staying quiet the entire duration of their short stroll to the neighbourhood hospital, hands linked and swinging between them, just enjoying the peaceful silence. Both of them were well aware that there were definitely going to be people out there who didn’t approve of their relationship, but they just didn’t really care. As long as they had each other, they’d pull through. They weren’t going to go around announcing that they had started dating, weren’t trying actively to hide their relationship, either. Tendou smiled to himself a little. _Well, our friends are going to find out eventually. I’m literally screaming Toshi’s name at the top of my lungs every night, and the walls aren’t that thick._

Before long, Tendou found himself sitting in front of a doctor across the desk, Ushijima beside him. The middle-aged doctor looked at the papers on the desk, studying the results of the tests and surveys that Tendou and Ushijima had just taken. “Well, it looks like there aren’t going to be any side effects at all, but it was an extremely close call for Tendou-san. You’re both very lucky.” He smiled. “But, I have something to ask. Based on these test results, it seems that the flowers you coughed up corresponded with the most prominent emotion of the person you loved at the time. That’s why they kept changing, but...... Nothing like this has ever been seen before. Do I have your permission to use these results in further research? You could help a lot of people.” The doctor looked between Tendou and Ushijima, a hopeful yet trepidated smile on his face.

Ushijima looked at Tendou, squeezing his hand. “It’s your call, babe.”

 _Oh my god, I love him so much._ “Umm...... Yeah. Sure. If it’ll help people, of course you can,” Tendou chirped, lacing his fingers with Ushijima’s. “Is that all?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes. Please take care of yourselves, and I’ll call you if there are any developments on the research.”

With that, Tendou and Ushijima walked out of the hospital, without the anxiety and fear they had both been holding in their hearts without realising. Suddenly, Ushijima turned to Tendou. “Do you have anything to do later? Or are you free?”

Tendou cocked his head to the side. “I’m free, why......?”

“Let me take you on a date.”

Tendou stopped walking, a grin dancing across his lips. “You don’t have to ask, you know.” He slid his arms around Ushijima’s waist, squeezing him tight. “So, where are we going?”

*

Tendou flopped down onto his bed, laughing and clutching his stomach. He was in one of Ushijima’s hoodies and a pair of boxers again, having changed after they took a shower. Surprisingly, they didn’t do anything dirty, it was literally just......a shower. It wasn’t for lack of trying, though. Tendou had been teasing Ushijima the entire time, grinding subtly against him, wiggling his bare ass in the air when he bent over to wash his legs, tossing his hair back under the shower spray and running his hands through it. But Ushijima had remained stoic and proper, keeping to his corner of the shower stall. Tendou had gotten worried, wondering if it was something he did to upset his boyfriend. He thought back to their date, the best day of his life so far. Ushijima had brought him to a diner, an arcade, and they had ended their day out with ice-cream and a walk along the docks, watching the sun set over the water. _Did I do something wrong? I must have. But when? Is he upset that I gave the hospital access to our data?_

However, it seemed that all tension had been forgotten. Ushijima was cracking joke after joke after joke, and Tendou had laughed so hard his stomach hurt. He actually had to get off the bed to walk off the stitch in his side, before Ushijima was reducing him to a giggling mess again, falling onto the bed next to the ace with his arms wrapped around his sides. Tendou knew that Ushijima had a hidden sense of humour, but he didn’t expect it to be so similar to his own. Ushijima was smiling too, a happy, relaxed grin that only showed when he was truly at peace.

As Tendou slowly calmed down, he suddenly remembered his doubt from earlier. “Toshi...... Did I do something wrong?”

Ushijima’s head snapped towards him so fast, Tendou was actually scared he’d hurt his neck. “No, why do you think...?”

Tendou fidgeted uncomfortably, the full weight of Ushijima’s heavy gaze on his face. “I don’t know, I just...... In the shower you-”

“ _Oh._ Oh, Satori…” Ushijima shifted and tugged Tendou into his chest, lying the both of them down on the mattress. He looked down at Tendou’s collarbones, too nervous to bear the full weight of the blocker’s scarlet gaze. _What if he thinks that it’s stupid?_ “I just- I don’t want to- to fuck you, tonight, and I wouldn’t have been able to control myself if-“ He finally looked up, and a bolt of panic shot through him as he realised his mistake after looking at Tendou’s dismayed expression that he was so obviously trying to hide. “No- no, I do! I just- I want to make _love_ to you, Satori. I want to love you right. Properly. Every time we’ve had...sex, it’s always been so…so _rough._ ” Ushijima lifted his left hand from where it was resting at the small dip in Tendou’s back, cupping the blocker’s slim jaw, his own olive eyes staring into sepia irises that were (thankfully) starting to fill with understanding. 

"I just- I want to show you that I’m- that I’m worthy of you. I want to prove that I can take care of you, that I’m someone who can provide for you for the rest of your life. I-If you decide that you want to stay with me that long, that is-”

"Wakkun," Tendou whispered, sliding his palms flat up Ushijima’s solid chest, over his neck and up to his strong jaw. Ushijima had stopped short as soon as he parted his lips, and the tiniest hint of a smile pulled at his mouth as he absorbed the fact that he had silenced this boy, no, this _man_ with just one simple word, a mere two syllables. _Does he really value my opinion that much?_ All his life, Tendou had always harboured a big personality, but that didn’t mean that people listened to what he said. It was finally hitting him, the depth of Ushijima’s love and respect. It went deeper than either of them realised, at first, but it seemed that Ushijima had grasped it, and now he was helping Tendou understand too.

Tendou’s vision turned blurry, his boyfriend’s face wavering out of focus, and he realised that his eyes were filling up with tears. _I’m... crying. I’m crying._ Ushijima obviously thought that he had been the cause of the tears welling in his boyfriend’s eyes (well, he technically was, but in a good way), and a sad sort of helpless panic was scribbled all over his features until Tendou spoke. The blocker didn’t think, didn’t hesitate. He just spoke the words that his heart was aching for him to say. “I belong to you now, do you know that? My mind, my heart, my body, my soul...... It’s all yours. Yours to see, yours to touch... _I’m_ all yours,” he whispered, looking up at Ushijima in awe. 

The ace blinked. “Satori… You shouldn’t say that. We’ve only just started dating, what if-” 

“No. No what-ifs.” Tendou felt the tears spill over his lash line, but he let them flow. “You know what I’m like, Wakkun. It’s all or nothing for me, and I’m going all in. I’m betting everything that I have.”

Ushijima wanted nothing more than to lean down and scatter tiny kisses all over his lover’s face, but something was holding him back. “But… Why? How can you be so sure?” He was so used to being decisive. With Ushijima, everything was either black or white, with no grey area in between. This uncertainty, this leap of faith… He needed reassurance, not because he didn’t trust Tendou, but because he didn’t know if Tendou could trust him, not with something as precious and fragile as Tendou’s own heart of gold. Ushijima was still new to this whole relationship thing, still unsure, and he was fighting blind here. _What if I hurt him? Or do something wrong? Or...something?_ He hated second-guessing himself, but it was impossible to avoid. It was like feeling around in a pitch-black room, looking for something in the darkness when he didn’t even know what it was.

But Tendou had always been the light to his darkness, hadn’t he? “Because you’ve bet everything too, haven’t you? It’s only fair. I know you, Wakkun. I trust you. I love you. And I give myself to you, Ushijima Wakatoshi. I only ask for your love in return. So please take care of me.” Tendou stretched out his hands, long, slim fingers braced along the frame of bones and tendons at Ushijima’s neck, his face serene even as tears gathered in his long, fiery lashes and dripped down his cheeks in perfect droplets. 

Ushijima slid his left hand to the back of Tendou’s head, sliding them into silky red strands that seemed to glow fire-bright in the dim lighting of the bedroom, his other arm crushing Tendou to him as he slipped his tongue between the blocker’s lips. His mouth told Tendou the multitude of feelings that he could never hope to express with words, every single one of his thoughts and emotions poured into one searing kiss. _I respect you. I admire you. I care for you. I trust you. I want you. I need you. I love you._ “Always,” he gasped into Tendou’s mouth. “Always. I will always take care of you. For the rest of my life.” And it was true; he fully intended to spend the rest of his life repaying what Tendou had given him: himself. The most precious gift of all.

Ushijima’s right hand crept downwards, slipping under the hem of Tendou’s (his own, actually, but he had a feeling that he was never getting it back; Tendou was a notorious hoodie thief) hoodie, fingertips dragging over the satin skin of his back, second and third fingers sliding up the two cords of hard-earned muscle that framed the dip of his spine, guarding it on either side. Tendou let a satisfied hum vibrate from deep within his chest, and Ushijima swore he could almost taste it when he ducked his head down to press his lips against the blocker’s pale throat. Tendou was utterly docile in his arms, melting against him and unfolding under his hands like how a flower bloomed under the sun’s gentle rays. He reached both hands down and grabbed the hem of the hoodie, dragging it up, up, up until he could tug it over his boyfriend’s head and cast it aside. He flipped them over from their sides so that Tendou was on his back and moved downwards over the blocker’s collarbones and chest, leaving a trail of kisses, but not hickies. Not tonight. There would be plenty of opportunities to mark up his boyfriend’s milky skin in the future, and he didn’t need marks to stake his claim on Tendou, not when he belonged equally to Tendou too. His mind, heart, body and soul? They were in the hands of the boy in front of him, the boy who was writhing under his lips, who had Ushijima’s given name dripping off his tongue like sweet, thick honey, rich and golden just like his pleasure-glazed eyes. When he reached Tendou’s hips, Ushijima hooked careful fingertips under the waistband of his black boxers and pulled them down slowly, relishing in the small hiss that Tendou puffed through his teeth as the elastic material dragged slightly over his over-sensitised cock. He slid the cotton downwards, his palm flat against Tendou’s firm calf until he could pull the boxers off his slim ankle and drop them to the floor. 

Tendou dug his fingertips into the back of Ushijima’s neck as the ace gently rubbed callused hands across the soles of his feet, sliding up the sides of his ankles and legs until they got to his thighs, the rough skin scraping delightfully against warm, bare flesh. Ushijima kissed his way back up Tendou’s chest, his lips finding a peaked, sensitive nipple and wrapping around it, sucking and nibbling. “A-ah- W-Wakkun-”

“I know, just let me- let me love you, please.” With one last kiss to Tendou’s chest, Ushijima carefully spread the blocker’s legs, wrapping warm fingers around his boyfriend’s hard shaft, his right hand dragging off his own T-shirt and flinging it somewhere he couldn’t be bothered to find out. 

“Wha-” Tendou gasped as Ushijima knelt next to the bed, pulling him to the edge of the mattress by his thighs. And when the ace pushed his legs even further apart and dragged the flat of his tongue against Tendou’s entrance, already slick with precum that had dripped down from his neglected cock, the blocker whined, his back arching beautifully against the bed. 

Ushijima was going to take his time, even though he hated leaving Tendou unsatisfied, if only just momentarily. He circled the tip of his tongue around his boyfriend’s hole, wiggling it inside slowly, smirking as he felt Tendou’s fingers tighten in his hair. He gave his cock a few pulls, ghosting his fingers over the tip, and Tendou choked out his name in a series of stuttering gasps, tightening around his tongue. He wanted to stretch Tendou open enough that it wouldn’t hurt when he slid in completely, when he filled Tendou to the brim. His boyfriend never complained about the stretch, but that didn’t mean Ushijima didn’t worry about him. Tendou was already trembling, falling apart under his light touches and his warm tongue. “Wa- Wakatoshi… I know you want to g-go slow, but-” he squirmed as Ushijima curled his tongue inside him, lips wrapped around his swollen rim, hand pumping his cock slowly. “NGH! Wakato- Waka- oh _gods-_ ” Tendou struggled up, his hands leaving Ushijima’s neck in favour of supporting himself from behind as he tried to sit up _,_ his thighs framing Ushijima’s face, but he fell back down as Ushijima slid a thick, saliva-slick finger into him, curling just right. Tendou cried out, his head bending back, fingers returning to the ace’s thick olive locks, his entrance fluttering and clenching around Ushijima’s tongue and fingers. 

_I love you, Satori._ Ushijima slid another finger in, scissoring them apart and going straight for the blocker’s prostate, and at the same time twisting his wrist with his left hand wrapped around Tendou’s throbbing length. He was painfully hard, a dark spot already soaking through the front of his sweatpants, but making Tendou feel good was his top priority. 

Tendou felt his eyes roll back into his skull as he came without warning, a warm, heavy glaze sinking through his body, spilling over Ushijima’s fist and bucking his hips up erratically, blindly fucking into his hand. As he lay panting on the bed, the ace stood up, and Tendou flushed when he sucked his fingers clean, his tongue laving over callused skin. Ushijima reached down and pushed off his sweatpants and boxers, dropping them down to his ankles and kicking them off. He leaned forward, his left hand wrapping around his own pulsing shaft, stroking up and down slowly, his other arm sliding beneath Tendou’s back and flipping over while he flopped down onto his back so Tendou was straddling him. The blocker was still boneless, his lips parted, hair hanging into his eyes. “Okay?” Ushijima whispered like if he spoke too loud, his voice would shatter that little bubble that they were in, that air of serenity and content. 

“More than okay.” Despite his dazed expression, Tendou’s voice was clear and steady, and his eyes sharpened back into focus as he planted his palms on Ushijima’s chest, searing his touch into lust-heated skin. Spreading his legs wider for balance and reaching one hand down for Ushijima’s cock, he lifted himself onto his knees, lining Ushijima up with the wet heat of his entrance, and slowly sank down, a sigh slipping through his lips. 

It wasn’t too soon, and Tendou was stretched and ready, but he was still tight and snug around Ushijima as he took him into his body and the ace had to force himself to stay still, letting Tendou control the pace. When he bottomed out, Tendou’s ass was pressed flush against him, his walls pulsing gently, wrapping Ushijima in comforting heat. This felt...different, somehow. Different than all the other times, but not just in terms of speed. So far, sex had always been rushed, even violent, both of them chasing for their climaxes and revelling in the slick slide of skin on skin. It had been a purely physical affair. Sure, there were the ‘I love you’s and the aftercare, but it was nothing like this. This was slow, _relaxed,_ like they had all the time in the world, two souls just revelling in each other’s company, each giving themselves over completely to the other. Tendou let his breath rush out of his lungs in a huff as he gave himself a moment to adjust to the fullness of Ushijima being within him. He started to move, then, just little circles of his hips. It was different from what it felt like when Ushijima was jackhammering him into the mattress, _way_ different, but he loved it all the same. The ace was pressed deep inside him, not so much of a stretch but more of a _fit_ , like they were just the perfect sizes for each other to slot together like two puzzle pieces. The head of his cock was pressing firmly against Tendou’s prostate, and the blocker whimpered as he ground his hips down again, a rolling motion that Ushijima picked up on and carried through. 

Those three simple words hung in the air even though neither of them had said them yet, an almost tangible warmth that wrapped around them like a blanket, shielding them from the world. Those three words were in the way Ushijima looked at Tendou, the way his olive eyes seemed bottomless, positively glowing with pure love and adoration in the dim light. They were in the way his hands skimmed up Tendou’s legs to his waist, reverent and strong, gripping with a gentle, constant pressure that Tendou knew he could always count on for support in more ways than one. They were in the way that Tendou rolled his hips, rocking gently against his lover, not moving any more than that slow, repetitive motion. But it was enough. It was more than enough. And as they both reached completion, Tendou splashing white ribbons across Ushijima’s chest and the ace spilling inside him, those three words finally fell from their lips, spoken so _tenderly_ that they were more precious than anything else in the world. Their love was a garden, and the seeds they had planted were blooming, _flourishing_ , growing and spiralling upwards, flowers and trees and vines and leaves all blooming into fruition until their entire garden was bursting with life.

Tendou sighed as he leaned forward to press his forehead to Ushijima’s. _If this is what slow sex is like...... We might just have to make this a regular thing._ His eyes slid closed, his entire body feeling heavy and content and positively _saturated_ with love and affection. He felt Ushijima gently shift him to the side and pull out, stretching over to the nightstand to grab some tissues, carefully wiping what had dribbled down Tendou’s thighs and spilt over his chest. He raked a hand through Tendou’s messy hair, pressing warm lips to his forehead in a tender kiss.

“Sleep,” he whispered, pulling Tendou into his chest and tucking the blocker’s face into the crook of his neck. “I’ll be right here, Tori.” And so Tendou slept, in the arms of his best friend, his lover, his everything. He had never felt safer than he did then, wrapped in Ushijima’s warm embrace, shielded from the world and everybody else. Soon after, Ushijima joined him and they both slept soundly, for something had changed irrevocably between them. They were in tune with each other in a way that they weren’t before. Perhaps it was what happened when you truly give yourself to the one you love, when they loved you back with everything they were and placed their life in your hands. Perhaps it was that blind trust that bonded them together, in a way that was more tangible than either of them could have ever imagined. Perhaps it was simply just love. But they knew, in that moment, that their souls would forever be intertwined, for better or worse, like vines of morning glory and sweet pea climbing up a trellis, winding around the wood and securing it together, their flowers blooming bright and sweet. And they didn’t worry, for even if the flowers wilted, they would grow again, sprouting from the soil that their love had originated from. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)


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